Seventeen

So, today marks the 17th wedding anniversary of the king and I. Practicing my creative!

Even though seventeen years seems long, it doesn't at all seem long...puzzling...

Various wild and wonderful events have shaped us..

Experiences!

Now here we are, staring down the empty nest - in five short years they could all fly!

Things between us are pretty consistent - unlike those rough and tumble years

Experience has brought wisdom and a dose of maturity.

Encouraging and challenging one another to soar with Christ,

New things may come, but we know how to take them together.

Don't let this little poem fool you. The king and I have had a wild and crazy adventure getting here. In fact, Rashi, a jewish commentator on the Torah - seems to describe our years of marriage:

"From the time of creation, relationships between spouses have at times been adversarial. In Genesis 2:18, God calls woman an ezer kenegdo, a "helper against him." The great commentator Rashi takes the term literally to make a wonderful point: "If he [Adam] is worthy, [she will be] a help [ezer]. If he is not worthy [she will be] against him [kenegdo] for strife." This Jewish study also described man and woman facing each other with arms raised holding an arch between them, giving a beautiful picture of equal responsibility.

Yet, here, on this day... it seems as though we have learned a lot more than we anticipated, and we are a lot more stable than we should be. We still grumble and bumble... we are still human (and there are still daughters in the home)

Here's to the next seventeen!

snow and sorrow

gently falling softly covering
so fitting for this time of grief
stark clarity when we open our eyes
gaze for a moment in wonder
and long... long... long... for rest.


So where is God today? Is he silent to our tears, to our rage, to our pain?
No.

A life well lived is one full of hills and valleys, trails and trials, gorges, waterfalls, and oceans. Some elements are vast - and some difficult, but all are part of an amazing adventure.

It is in these moments that we ponder much. Pain and sorrow bring focus that cannot come in any other way. It is the way of man, to search for ease and seek for pleasure so as to escape from the truth.  Russel Brand, in an interview given last year, describes his struggle with drugs and alcohol in this way: "Drugs and alcohol are not my problem — reality is my problem."

So, reality it is. I'll admit it, I'm not fond of reality all the time. I'm not fond of reality right now, actually.

In the Psalms, David speaks often of his desire for nothing more than the presence of God.
Remember your word to your servant, in which you have made me hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. Psalm 119:49-50

My soul longs for your salvation; I hope in your word.  Psalm 119:81

I lift my eyes up to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.  The LORD wil keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.  The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore. Psalm 121

I have to close remembering the lesson I learned on this Psalm. In plain English it appears completely insane, especially this week. However, Bo Stern taught me once that the word keep in this Psalm is to be considered more like a hedge about you; all around you. (like a keep, a castle)

and...

In all these things we are discussing our eternal life. Not so much this one, as we know David, and many psalmists, and many countless people from the bible and all human history, suffered physically due to evil. yet.

We have a solid hope. We are surrounded on all sides, through and through. May we therefore live life with our eyes fixed, as Davids were, on Christ. May we hold one another up as we face reality day by day. And may we grieve as those who have hope. 

Fog

Obscuring
Wrapping the landscape in gauze
Hiding in plain sight
the flower
the tree
the star and everything between.

Obscuring season
Blind wandering
Aimless and pathless
alone
lost
without direction or hope.

This is fog. Not every day is like this.

Heightened sense of alertness - wait...
Sudden brilliance
The fog lifts
Clarity.

Take courage and press through the fog.

take 3

I've been working on this for a while but it is still barely begun.

drip, pure, drip
separating the good
sustaining

I roll the ideas around in my mind and think of coffee & of himalayan water.

I ponder further and realize that every moment is filtered... and sometimes the sludge and impurity is where we find ourselves.

Take 2

There will be wars and rumors of wars
It has been said
And here we are
War again knocking on our doors
Keep your oil full and your wicks trimmed
For the day of the Lord comes,
and we
the light,
must stand ready.

But not just stand
Care, and love, the least
The greatest
All

Our brothers mourn, and we with them
Stay awake, the journey has begun
The world is overcome.

Take 1

new light brightening
a day dawns fresh with wonder
hours lay before me like trails through the forest
some are clearly visible


some wind through the trees
some disappear into the wild  ...


you cannot hear the wind
praise the lord
without crashing through the brush
you cannot rest in the stillness
without a beginning

Steady Rythyms

never stopping...
woosh and rumble... 
like the seasons...
drip drip...
that bring sparkle and shine...
bling bling...
rest and comfort

so is this season of my life.

I wake, morning by morning, with thoughts of .. what, you ask?

Thoughts of breathing, of surrender, of how today?

There is no day which says "today, no movement" - there is no plan for this in all planning. It is always, and forever, seize this day, for you never know.

Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. But at midnight there was a cry, Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.  Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out. But the wise answered, saying, Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves. And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, Lord, lord, open to us. But he answered, Truly, I say to you, I do not know you. Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.

How easily we forget the simplest of blessings. Our life is but a moment,  a flash in a term we call "eternity" - with eternity burned in our hearts, and the hope of heaven secure, what is it that causes us to be foolish and to slumber?

I know I do. Daily, hourly even.

Its certainly simple when I am in context - but in the daily?

And so, I pray. And seek, and hope, and wonder. Thankful that each little bit I am able to offer is more than enough, with my eyes fixed on the one who calls me ...

Deep Seasons

Oh, my five year old self, laugh.
Ten year old self, laugh.
Fifteen year old self, you laugh too.
Thirty-five year old self,
Remember the laughter? Can you hear it?
Look at the laughter all around.
You were once that five, that ten, that fifteen.
Life was deep then. And yet, there was laughter.
Depth is reality.
A shallow season is really no season at all. 
So smile, and laugh, and dance, and sing.
 

The year of 35

Summer

Non stop and super slow
With late nights, heat,  and laughter.
Never forget the laughter,
It will last long after the warmth fades.

Girls are 14,13,12.
12,13,14. In a blink they will fly.
We talk college, careers, homes of their own
Lessons on cooking, on laundry, on being kind

I'm 35..
Finally able to operate a manual transmission
I laugh, I wear what I want, and I know what I like.

Forget the mocha - give me a strong house french.
Extra spinach in the salad
pepperjack cheese
People.

I'll take ethnic over american, please
Spices, variety, flavor fusion
Dancing, smiling, mischevious grins

Video games will be the death of family
So will texting 
Get off your PHONE!

City over country, although chickens are pleasant.
No green thumb, give me a windchime!
Sometimes I think, what will I really want to remember
The year I'm 40... 50...

I think, I want to remember laughter, people, joy.
The delight of hearing Emily tell of her favorite camp foods
Rachel's passion for the world
Sarah's mastery of cooking and baking and our shared love of people.

Created

we are created
formed and made
crafted and designed
like a melody that captures the heart
or spices that meld into magnificence

knit
spun

and then, like a bubble from the wand,
we are set free to fly
the light eternal shimmering
catching the eye of others
Our gifts, the love, the joy..
freely shared and given away

Until that day when we are called back
and the hand that created us draws us home

To Defend

Defense of the orphan and widow
High calling
Low earthly return

The battered, the war-torn
and weary at heart
Long for refuge

So many questions
Few answers


The answer to every question
Hope for the weary
Strength for the weak

Beautiful solid rock
Christ
Refuge