Monday, January 13, 2014

facing life steadily...

That's THREE strikes, you're OUT!

If this were baseball, I would throw the bat and aim for the dugout. I would sit angry, ashamed, and embarrassed, knowing that my inability to hit the ball could cost my team the game... 

But this isn't baseball, I only think its three. I'm certainly not heading to the dugout yet, and honestly, this one would have been a ball, not a strike. The aim was all off to the side, for goodness sake.  I would have ended up walking to first, and the OTHER GUY would be the angry and embarrassed one.

Its 2014, can I talk to you for a moment?
I'm tired of extending beyond myself into what is only possible with Christ. I'm tired of the lesson. Did you hear me? I'm tired of this LESSON. 

And, for the record, I'm grieving. This is not a good time.

Step by ever present step.. .
As hard as it is for me to admit to all of you.... Kick stomp and flail; angry and betrayed, I flee... that's my usual plan.  What is the purpose of this? 
So, it doesn't really matter my choice about things as this is my journey. I'm learning to walk seeing far past where I am, in any situation. Learning means making mistakes and being put to the test. Learning means getting up and dusting off and starting again.

I imagine countless people throughout history marching bravely into the face of the fiercest enemy.

So, since my word for the year was steady.... I guess I'm in the testing zone. 

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