Thursday, October 31, 2013

When we were on fire

"Looking at the tops of clouds, their puffy lacy-ness, just makes me think of how many years God was the only one to see the world and clouds from such a height." March 2006

There was a day before that day - the day when my christian naivete burst like a balloon and the hard reality of living as a small town christian woman lay before...

Ironically, that day I was not on fire. Nor have I yet been. But I'm living at a slow smolder. I've seen the promised land, tasted the fruit, and found it good.

"Now listen, I created you, the way you are - ordained the circumstances of your life and put you where you are because I love you. I don't make junk. You are mine, and if I decide that you are to be in vinyl repair or a turnip farmer, this is my plan for you, and it will be best for you and for my plan. I don't need your help, but I like to be with you. Rejoice in that and don't change until I open the doors. You keep trying to kick them down. Why don't you go to a movie or something and let me run the universe..." This must be from the message version of the bible. Or some graphic novel.

Anyway, as I was saying...

There are things I am ultra passionate about. Jesus was pretty passionate too - so at least I'm in really good company. I'm passionate about mentoring & discipleship - I'm passionate about teenagers, especially fatherless boys but also girls - I'm passionate about grace. Lets just look at the bible and see where Jesus drew boxes around people ... oh, he didn't do that? Then why does his church. I'm passionate about taking care of people. I'm passionate about encouraging people to pursue Jesus, know their kids, and take good care of their mental health. I'm passionate about the people of the whole world coming to faith in Christ. my friends in Nepal, India, Haiti. places that have been incredibly closed off. The word of God ... so rich and beautiful... I am especially passionate about my daughters and the 21st century church. My deepest hope and prayer is that as they mature into womanhood, they will see the church as a place they belong. Not in this community necessarily, but somewhere they will find an open niche for their gifting to be used for his Glory.

Or at least that in their home they will :)

Thursday, October 24, 2013

For 48 hours I was heading to haiti

deep and urgent the call was - unmistakable.
so I stepped into the water and I began to walk...
worthiness is not defined by the standards of the world...

and then the edge fell away, and we found the water too deep to continue.

What does a person do with this? I know many (most) see crazy. I see opportunity - pursuit - life.

I know, we prefer things neat and tidy. We prefer savings accounts and retirement funds, logical plans, time. Of all things we prefer time - time to plan, to prepare, to evaluate...

Our unsettled souls desire the speed to distract..
to hide, to escape. 
The Lord says - rest, peace and joy
are found in his purpose. 

One asked, are you at peace?
Absolutely ~ I went to the edge... What was that all about then? So many proper people want to know. Well. I've thought. Perhaps faith? Perhaps relationships? Perhaps deeper awareness? Perhaps simple obedience.

You cannot live without movement, without walking. You cannot stand without risking to fall. Such truth in simplicity.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

psalm 140

This weeks bad theology award is given to the phrase "this too shall pass."

Surely this isn't biblical anyway!

In Psalm 140, David reveals to us, by parallel and pause, that evil is present and deliverance is only found in the Lord. If we do not speak honestly about the truth and the reality of evil we are not speaking honestly about anything - especially about the strength of the Lord to be a deliverer. We are not able to deal correctly and in a healthy way with the daily.

Find a moment of silence to pause today. Don't fear it, but embrace it.  Selah.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


I've been slowly rambling along here.. my thoughts are not as clear as they used to be.

Filters... sometimes mine are more like a kaleidoscope than clear lenses... ever turning the dial to get a different picture... something new to ooh and ahh over, more intent on watching the changing shapes than settling on one and examining it.

last night I was reading the bible, in the book of John.

Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.” Then they said to him, “What must we do, to be doing the works of God?” Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.” (John 6:27-29)