Sunday, May 20, 2012

My heart is so happy I cried on stage ...

Oh, my redeemer lives!

I have to pause, oh so briefly, my break from moving to share my joy!

God is SOOOO good!

He proves it each day with life, but today he proved himself to be the faithful and true God we pray to and believe in. Today our 2012 TOT team shared the stories of their trip, and then the Haiti team was to be presented...

From the first words spoken, I began to cry. I couldn't shake it -  God is SO GOOD... He is SO FAITHFUL. He has his timing and his plan and his ways, and the stories shared today just made me cry with joy. Of a people once lost and now found... of a mighty work being done among a people I love.
Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory— even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles? As indeed he says in Hosea,
Those who were not my people I will call 'my people,' and her who was not beloved I will call 'beloved.' And in the very place where it was said to them, "You are not my people," there they will be called "sons of the living God."  (Romans 9:21-26)
We were called onto stage to be publicly presented as a team, and I just kept on crying, even with a microphone in hand. I'm excited to continue to pray and walk and watch and go and send and seek and prepare... Because God IS good, and faithful, and true.

My redeemer lives!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

All Done and Dusted

Here we are!
The house is sold... the gears are moving... its time to begin to move!
Thankfully we have put a lot in storage in prep to sell the house, but it is amazing to look at all that we have accumulated over the years here...

Moving day is Memorial Day weekend, and we have much to do here in the kingdom...
See you on the flip side!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Weekend Links

Today is Mothers Day...
I sent a card to mom... did you?

I'm mom, so I get to choose the one thing I truly want. And you know, that one thing.. it doesn't cost money... but it does require something that I can't control.. that sunshine, our elusive friend in the pacific northwest...  I've been surprised to wake up to a full blue sky and glorious sunshine streaming in...  I fully intend to sit on my porch with a mug of coffee and listen to the world and just rest...

Meanwhile, I've been reading about the web. Here are some of my favorite things:

The Nester shares her journey in Tanzania with the Compassion Bloggers: What's your plan for tomorrow? I was really challenged by reading this post and I hope you are too!

Jayme takes amazing photos of animals and people - she is able to capture the spark of life in her photography... I am looking forward to her future: My Happy Place

Baked by Rachel shares a Julia Child rolled omelet recipe that is ready in... get this... three minutes! I have not been able to perfect it yet, probably due to the fact that I'm not using enough butter... I will keep trying, though, as this is probably the easiest breakfast food I've found to make - and it fits right in with my healthy eating plan: Julia Child Rolled Omelette

Being in community and living in a small town, I've run across much debate and tension over the years... over little things... over big things...  I feel it is appropriate to close with a profound thought I read this week in the comments on Internet Monk...

So we argue on, while the world burns down around us. God help us. Indeed.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Mothers Day

As mentioned previously I have been working on gaining clarity this year. Clarity is hard to come by in a world tied down by self and sin and messiness. Nevertheless, I refuse to back down and if it must be by the inch rather than the mile, I intend to persevere.

Here is my inch for this week... Ann Voskamp invited her readers to participate in an extraordinary opportunity to help mothers in Haiti. (Haiti? really? read on!) I considered the request a struggle and an irony, and set it aside.

1000 Moms Project

However, it seemed that this idea has been burned into me, as I can't escape it. I have an amazing set of mothers in my life, mothers God has provided me over the years to bring me up and along. How do I select the most important gift?

Mom, thank you.

Thank you for the opportunity to experience the rich blessings of aunts, grandparents, and cousins as a young child that helped me form the vision for how I want to mother, aunt, and someday grandmother. I know that their absence from our lives has brought us all pain... almost thirty years now... but the memories are sweet. And I savor every bit.


I have to say that the foremost thing that comes to mind for my mother is the gift of release.  I've considered it a gift in the past, a gift that is painful, mind, but nonetheless a gift. If I am truly honest, before God and man, my mother blessed me in ways that I still cannot comprehend simply by sending me off when I was fourteen.

In that exchange I was released from much and released to the unknown. It was, truly, an unknown that brought pain, but as it says in scripture, God has a plan to bring beauty from ashes. And I can see that now, even as I wrestle to understand that as a mom myself...
Mom, thank you.

Thank you for releasing me into the wild world to be completely free to accept the blessings in store. Without that, there could not have been this: Kathy, Carolee, Lori, Lyn, Linda, Lauri, Kim, Alice... and countless others who have been willing to let me watch, let me ask, let me learn...

1000 Moms ProjectOh, to be brave enough to share such truth... I suppose that will be my true inch! Am I brave enough? Can I extend myself that much, to bring freedom and release? If this comes to my mind, how much more on hers? And if none at all, is it my right to continue to lord this pain over her.. this bitterness.. this unforgiveness?


Oh, yeah... NO. forgiveness.. undeserved grace... Christ died on a cross for me.. for this messy Lanny, and yet I've struggled to say ouch but thanks? I can see so plainly that my life is amazing and without her gift, it would be so very different. Words cannot describe it all adequately... Joseph has a chat with his brothers in Genesis 50:20 - its one we talk about a lot and I think a lot of people can relate to...
As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.
Who knows what God is up to in our lives? 

 As to Haiti, in just eight weeks I have the opportunity to take my eldest daughter to Haiti to work together and spend time with children.. thus.. the irony.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Pursuing Slow Time

I'm about to be 35 years old and I thrive in the city...
This year I started an adventure in getting to know Lanelle - might sound silly but I wonder if you know who you really are... I found some interesting places where I was clashing with myself. I discovered some deep longings and passions that were pretty important to me, more important than I had been letting on... As a working mom with three amazing daughters, I began to recognize the necessity of slowing down so I do not crash completely ...

I began to call one thing I was longing for "slow time" ... I've concluded that my short term trips to India probably sparked this in me... or kindled embers that had been there all along...

The center point in life is Christ, and living free with Him... Here's my attempt at defining the ring around the center of this longing in my soul -

Emily, Asia, and Copper
time to really breathe
time to cook a meal
time for joy and laughter
time for adventure
time to prepare healthy lunches
time to read and really rest
time to pray
time to be flexible
time for the people around me
time to talk and drink a cup of coffee with friends... with strangers..

Introducing my version of slow time.

At work, I answer the phone all day. At  home, I leave the ringers off.
Leave a message, send a text, I will get back to you. It may be in 1 minute, or 30... though... no hard feelings? It all depends upon what I'm doing at the moment... playing blackjack, wandering with the dogs, or even napping - smile

Email. . . still my favorite communication tool when I'm in "work mode" - I took two days off work last week and it was the strangest sensation not to have email to work through all day. I love the clarity email provides in project management! However, I'm learning that I have to distinguish between project management and life...Never thought I would say that!

I've deactivated facebook for good. In some ways I feel like my friends are leaving me in the dust - but in all honesty, the dust is actually a nice place, once I got to know it again! It seems I had forgotten how to live MY life, and was striving to live life with everyone else!

I have fallen "a little in love" with Pinterest; I'm beginning to accept myself and find the things I like are lovely. I like to remember them, and Pinterest helps a LOT! And you know, while its a social site, its nothing at all like facebook or me.

Eliminating some of the collected clutter from the past 15 years of marriage has made our space much more of a home and much less of a monster (where is that one paper again, from November of 2000? OH, right where we put it!)

I was able to practice slow time this past weekend ... I was flexible enough to meet friends, to rest, and to pack for the upcoming move... I still got much accomplished.. but much life was lived as well. and it was very very good!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

My Friend Adam

Today, my friend, you jet off to Africa Italy (first)
Thank you for humbly and actively living out your faith - You are an encouragement to many, all over the world!

We're praying for you!
May God use you in amazing ways, reveal Himself to others through your testimony, and be glorified in your moments. Godspeed!

(pray for your missionary friends today!)
Want to learn more about Adam? Check out:

Friday, May 4, 2012

A momentary confession

I have been locked in a deep struggle lately with fear and doubt and all kinds of anxiety due to a single relationship that has gone awry, and yesterday, through a series of fits and starts, I had a moment of divine clarity. NOW I can at least see why it has been such a challenging season for me... NOW I can honestly state the issue.. and NOW I can look at the truth for freedom.
Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. ~ Luke 14:25-27
You may be part of my family; my brother, father, sister, child... is our relationship keeping either of us from true discipleship? Am I much more focused on this relationship than the pursuit of Christ? Does our relationship stand in the way to freedom in Christ?