wrap

winter hiking is amazing

Since I'm no pro, and I've only managed to get to 36 by the skin of my teeth, I have one thing to say at the end of 2013...

Don't make unattainable goals! You will Fail!

rachel traveling on her own...

One day this past year I thought I would blog regularly again, surely, as I'm full of amazing bits and bites and thoughts and sparks...

Alas, that day never really materialized, as I also realized (albeit on a different day) that I am really at my best after a series of days disconnected and unencumbered by this life. Thus, you may find one to three things that made sense and a whole lot that didn't. Such is. Happy New Year!

downtown pdx christmas tree

emily is learning to drive

Fog

Obscuring
Wrapping the landscape in gauze
Hiding in plain sight
the flower
the tree
the star and everything between.

Obscuring season
Blind wandering
Aimless and pathless
alone
lost
without direction or hope.

This is fog. Not every day is like this.

Heightened sense of alertness - wait...
Sudden brilliance
The fog lifts
Clarity.

Take courage and press through the fog.

I am a Woman

Women, there is a dangerous current on the wind - deadly, evil, painful and damaging. It whips in and through and around like a harmless breeze, but its hooks are barbed and the pain is only felt when it is gone...

LIES

Your only worth and only value are truly found in being home with your children
Your only worth and only value are truly found in bringing home a paycheck
Your only worth and only value are truly found in being married
Your only worth and only value are truly found in being single
Your only worth and only value is found in childbearing
Your only worth and only value is found in being childless
Your only worth and only value is found in adoption
Your only worth and only value is found in missions
Your only worth and only value is found in ministry
Your only worth and only value is found in your education
Your only worth and only value is found in looking perfect
Your only worth and only value is found in keeping a spotless house
Your only worth and only value is found in doing everything for your children
Your only worth and only value is found when your children are off to college

Your only worth and only value is found when YOUR DAUGHTERS get married, stay home and raise children of their own while YOUR SONS get married, work, and pay the bills. 

LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES

I am not a paycheck mommy and You do not stay home so you can properly operate a sponge mop.

LIES

Enough of these lies. Stop spreading them, believing them, passing them along, and living them.

Rather, live in truth. There is no perfect biblical model for a family - God calls each of us into a unique relationship with him. God calls people - families and singles - into places where others think them foolish and wrong. His opportunities and His desires for you, well - they probably won't look like mine. No other person can accurately give you the truth of Gods plan for YOUR life. Please, for the sake of the Gospel, for the sake of sisterhood and womanhood and for all of our children - do not believe these lies.

Your identity is in Christ. Your value, worth, and life are found hidden in Christ. There is no church that can give you life as Christ can, no employer, no spouse, no children, no friends.

Pursue life.

Prepare for an adventure that you could never imagine.

As for me, I am grateful. I am humbled. I weep. I mourn. These lies are so dangerous and painful I wish I could mute them. I wish I could pause at your table, sit with you, and say - YOU ARE BELOVED. There is this amazing God, he loves you so. He has your life in his hands, and He knows your heart. He created you - fashioned you, and knows you intimately. Trust Him. Give him your tired, your lonely, your pain. Give him your hopes and dreams and know that he will work out a masterpiece with you. 

On the Reading Stack

Here we are, heading into winter. I'm reading a stack of books and so here is the share:

Advent with Evelyn Underhill (on recommend!)
Mansions of the Heart by R Thomas Ashbrook
Home Tonight by Henri Nouwen
Rashi by Elie Wiesel
The Excellency of Christ by Jonathon Edwards
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
That Man is You by Louis Evely
and hoping to finish A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life by William Law

After this stack, I will get back to Catching Fire and maybe find some fun fiction.
Should be a good season!

Woodsmoke and Moonlight

I open my door; dark, quiet space yawns ahead of me.
Stepping out, I breathe deeply of the cool evening air. It is night.

Time fades as I walk, pausing periodically to look, really look about.
A hint of woodsmoke on the air, our attempt to keep the chill at bay.
The moon shines brightly out in the open, a great spotlight revealing that which prefers shadow.

And I walk on.


Thoughts from the day flit through my mind as I walk, steadily pacing now with no destination and plenty of time.

Pausing is a challenge in this season of my soul.

Thinking of woodsmoke, I realize how pervasive it is. One moment near a fire and the scent lingers on your clothes, your hair, your skin. I realize how easily it is for a good thing, like warmth, to overtake your senses so that you lose track of other, equally important things. How simple we are, really.

Jesus Feminist part deux

The heart of the matter is Jesus....

I have had friends say "what is it with this feminist thing?" This saddens me, as I don't believe any different than I did yesterday.... This feminist thing has been on my mind as long as I've been a believer. I was raised to ask questions, and questions I ask. I was given an opportunity to pursue life, and life I pursue.

Arguing sides in the gender debate isn't the point of our life here on earth, but (from my perspective at least) a major distraction from the enemy.  Ultimately... gifting, calling, and roles are given by God. I see no scriptural evidence to the contrary.

 

Consider for a moment the greatest point in Christian history. The word became flesh and dwelt among us, keeping his eyes fixed on purpose, even though he was hated, rejected, and crucified by those people that were considered to be wise on earth. Radically counter-cultural, he spoke and demons fled. He spoke and dead men rose. He didn't seem very concerned with the opinion of the religious institution of the day. His calling was laid out before him and he walked it.

 

I think what is happening is that time is coming into focus and many are being awakened. This generation is no longer content sitting idle, but rather compelled to truly live! Live your calling, live your life. No matter whether at home, at work, in the church, or in nature - pursue Jesus with all of your heart, soul mind and strength. This is the greatest commandment. This is the call on our life, and to deny that calling is to deny the Christ we believe in.

To be fair, we have a long way to go. Heaven is not in my backyard. I know there is a difficulty for some who study the bible... This difficulty stems from what I believe is the same root that led the Israelites away from seeing Christ as the Messiah. The good news is that we are no longer waiting on a Messiah, but rather a returning triumphant king. I don't have point/counterpoint references to back this up, but just a sense of the story.

One thing I know with confidence, we MUST encourage one another to press on. Press on so as to run with endurance the race set before us. Not the race others set before us, the race that is comfortable for them to have in their proximity, but the race that has been designed for you. Just a little warning here, yours may not be the most popular race... it may be filled with diapers and sticky fingers, or it may be filled with beatings and martyrdom. Run your race anyway. Connect as you can, and we will hold up your tired arms.

The words of scripture are not just words on a page to study and dissect, but LIFE giving nourishment. What good news! Some of us relate with Mary, Martha, or the woman at the well, others to the disciples of Christ. Still others, Barnabas or Prisca or Mary or Paul. Each story unique and yet, not entirely disconnected. There is a thread that ties us all together...

His name is Jesus.

So, I will say it again... yes...
I am a Jesus Feminist. 

Faith...

Mary believed in her vocation, and gave herself to it, immediately, and with every fiber of her being... She didn't ask herself whether or not her lowly existence was compatible with the announcement just made to her... Louis Evely (that man is you)

To have the faith of Mary...