Thursday, January 21, 2016

39th year

This is my 39th year.

I haven't yet had my birthday, but I'm living like I have.

I remember so many people of long ago, as they were approaching 40. Forty... It seemed like an impossible number at 10, and today, at 38.6 it still seems impossible.

I told a friend today that I only feel 30. 

And so it goes..

The three decided not to halt time and are growing up. The eldest has a moving out date all arranged... all that has to happen is the date to appear. The middle has her college sights set and is doing much .. and the youngest, she is determined to shine, as she has ever since birth...

My best friend, my beautiful dog Asia, is geriatric. Someday she will not be my walking partner, and I will weep for a time...

The king and I, we are talking of "when the girls are gone" and "the next 30 years" as if we have any more clue now than we did at 19, when this all began.

I'm hopeful for their lifeskills, praying daily for their daily... longing for jesus as I know this crazy world isn't getting any more sane.

I think about that 10 year old looking at those old people like they are crazy. I know the truth, that they are crazy, and yet they keep on, because at 40 you don't care about the world like you did at 10.

So how am I living like I'm 39? Great question. I'm doing a terrain race - I'm hiking the South Sister - I've started seeing a naturopath and I'm taking better care of my health -  and I'm going to spend a weekend or two in silent retreat this year on the encouragement of dear friend.

I'm almost at the point where I can write...

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